“Man’s body cut to fit coffin.” Funny, in a gruesome sort of way. Straight out of Adams Family gruesome.
Can I say, "Big Love"?
But, no. Welcome to Allendale, NC — where it did, in fact, happen.
Not to beat…erm, a dead horse, the late Mr. James Hines, a preacher and funk musician, was not only a giant personality, he was a giant of a man – 6′7″, 300 lbs. So, when he went up to keep making his music in the sky, the undertaker was left in a bit of a tizzy. The coffins are mostly standard size, so, what is a funeral director to do when he gets called in for a really BIG job?
But the owner of Cave Funeral Home wasn’t one to let even these sorts of issues mow him down. Why, saw off the deceased’s feet between the knees and the ankles; stuff them into the coffin along with the business end of your customer; pay off the grieving widow, who tried to honor her husband’s memory by threatening to sue once the rumors of your genius start making the rounds of the small town, in return for her silence — and you’re scot-free.
At least, you should have been — if those you paid off had the common decency to follow through on your out-of-court agreement.
Which, after 5 years of keeping his peace, Ann Hines decided not to do. Once the prosecution, fed up with the gruesome accusations, chose to exhume Mr. Hines to take the pictures ascertaining the body’s state before reburying the remains, Ann gave her permission.
As it turns out, the rumors had been justified. And thus, were the criminal proceedings against the Cave Funeral Home initiated. Now, under the North Carolina law, desecrating human remains is punishable by 1 to 10 years in prison.
How much the accused will plead down to or if this thing will be dragged through the courts, let me just say that I am frankly appalled. But not at the proprietor, believe it or not. I suppose he really shouldn’t have done what he did, but that will be up to the jury to take a vote on — and whatever higher authority he believes in, Jesus, Osiris, Buddha.
What I am actually disgusted at is the sheer avariciousness of Mrs. Hines. First, she takes money for something that, if it is as painful to her as she espouses, should not have been salved by the judicious application of a however-many greenbacks. And then, she goes BACK on her word to allow the police to move forward with its investigation.
Where was she with her open wounds for the the last 5 years? Did they not bleed then? And why has the stigmata opened now?
Tell you what, if you want to see an example of social injustice, it is people like that going on air with their patently false tales of woe and getting sympathy from all and sundry!
I do sound bitter, I concur, but just as convicted felons are not allowed to profit from their crimes, so, do I think Ann Hines and her ilk should not be allowed any kind of public-opinion driven windfall.
Related Posts -
"They called me an imbecile". They were right! Who doesn't know a tale of a boy crying wolf? [/caption] It's scary, pithy, seemingly transcends cultures -- and at our mother's knee, teaches us honesty, forethought, and bewaring of society's patience with even the youngest of us being so spectacularly short, a child is forced to spend the night...... -
PETA and Michael Vick, a Match Made in Hell If you are a true follower of the PETA dictums, right now, in addition to the more... ah traditional constraints like no meat, no poultry, no fish, no wool, no leather, no circuses, no zoos, no animal research, no pets, no seeing eye dogs, no goats mowing Google lawns (at...... -
Open Up and Let Me In - Transparency in the War on Terror Is there room for total disclosure when the stakes are this high? Is this the answer to the conflict, or merely more fuel for the fire? We need openness, communication...don't we? How are we to build a relationship -- or, for that matter, anything of value -- on lies? And...... -
It's my Party... I am Lisa, this here blog's writer, and I am a foodie. There, I said it, and no, I am not feeling relieved. I love food. I cook, I like dining out, I like giving everything a fair chance (which, however, emphatically does not extend to vanilla or whatever-flavored...... -
It's Never So Cut and Dried! You know how you have a painful breakup and you really REALLY feel that the other person has hurt you? You know how you wish you could just go Lorena Bobbitt on their ass? [/caption] Well, Lorena Bobbitt doesn't ever have to wish that. She HAD gone and done what......
Related Websites -
USDA Rejects "Downer" Cow Ban, Wants Us To All Get Mad Cow. The United States Department of Agriculture has rejected a call for an outright ban on all "downer" cows in our food supply. Why is this important? Because studies have shown that "downer" cows have a much higher risk of getting and transmitting Mad Cow Disease: Government regulations prohibit slaughtering cattle...... -
Roddick wins Brisbane International Andy Roddick won the Brisbane International this past Sunday at the Pat Rafter Arena by defeating the defending champ Radek Stepanek in two sets, but it wasn't easy. A tiebreak was needed both times. This was Roddick's first tournament after his knee injury last year that ended his season...... - Using Whole Life Insurance to Create a Pension Income Stream Today I am presenting a guest post from a fellow personal finance blogger who proposes an interesting strategy for using whole life insurance as a way to generate retirement income. I will have some comments about this strategy at the end of the post. Evan from My Journey to Millions......
- When Is Enough, Enough? UCLA Alumni, Andrew Lahde, announced last week that after making an astounding 866% last year, he was closing down his hedge fund and returning all the money back to his investors. While it's not certain how much money he's made, it has been speculated that he's worth around $30 million......
-
Quick Green Reads For The Weekend Volume 106. Well, as you read this I am up north in Denver to visit my best friend and his family for a few days. Hope you all have a great weekend, and check out some of the news that caught my eye this past week! After nearly 30 years in......
