The Annointed Fig

I am not originally from the US. I was 13 when I came here.

I went to high school on the third day since having arrived. It was a Tuesday, September 7th, as I remember.

Now why didn't we have it in my school?

I didn’t speak a word of English other than “hi”, and knew the Latin alphabet only as far as it pertained to German. I wore a braid, thick glasses (especially, left lens — from having gotten a sizable chunk of glue in my eye when I was 6), and had been ridiculously traumatized from nearly having had my beloved pet lost by Delta Airlines.

We got to Louisville from New York by way of Cincinnati, and it was there when we were changing planes that Delta in its infinite wisdom forgot the specialized cage it made us, immigrants with practically zilch to our names, buy in NYC to transport our beast, a petite Siamese cat who (also, per airline specs) hasn’t been fed for 3 days to prevent erm…accidents.

If only Delta was quite so conscientious with its live cargo once it was all properly packaged!

Do I sound bitter? If I do, I have reason to be – though just as much of one is for me to feel grateful. Or, at least, touched.

Because, you see, we flew in on the red eye. There would not have been another flight from Cinnci until around 11 AM the next day.

So, guess what Delta did? Of course, that was LOOOOONG before their current crisis.

Yep, they actually sent a separate flight just for my kitty, picked her up – and gave her to me 90 or so minutes after grudgingly admitting they made a boo-boo. Talk about customer service!

I am happy to report for the animal lovers among us, Masha is with me and adding a very assertive meow to the thought of pets having to travel cargo.

Very much one of my soapbox topics this may be, but it really isn’t the subject of this particular post. Mainly, it’s here to establish the mental state of the subject, as they say in legalese.

Which, lemme tell you, was about -15 on the scale of 1 to 10.

Add to that not having gone to the bathroom for 6 hours straight on that first day for the simple reason I didn’t know where I was to *go* (neither the schedule of classes nor my Vietnamese and/or English speaking full-time guide from the English Second Language program didn’t think to incorporate this little activity into the roster), and well, sufficing to say, I wasn’t a happy puppy.

Sixth period for that puppy happened to be, in fact, ESL – and that’s…no, it actually hasn’t been the time I finally got to answer the call of nature.

But it had been very much the time when I fell in love – my first. In the US, anyhow.

Because in my ESL class was, among the kids from the former USSR, a young man, 4 years my senior. He was placed as a junior and he spoke English (however, one may speak a language one didn’t care to really study in their homeland and only had a chance to polish up among the native speakers in the last…wait for it, two weeks).

Still, he spoke it, and he was tall, and he wore the name of my favorite character from my favorite Dickens’ book, and he had the most marvelous stock of Russian profanities – they are the best in the world, I’ll have you know. Linguists agree. AND he was the one who actually not only thought to inquire after the bathroom thing – but along with another boy, took it upon himself to walk me to the bathroom.

So, imagine if you will, bladder bursting, tears threatening, heart pitter-pattering somewhere in the region of your toes – and being marched to the loo under a convoy of not one, but two handsome older guys, one of whom, you immediately decide, is going to be the father of your future children.

Oh, and did you imagine you are a shy, perfectly traumatized bookworm?

You did?

What did the imaginary you do? Taken advantage of the young men’s generosity? Politely thanked them and told them she just went? Or did she hightail it out of there and got lost and had had to have someone bring her in, loitering like a lost goat near the double doors of the cafeteria being scrubbed clean after that day’s lunch?

If you voted the unequivocal three – welcome to the club, hmm? But to paraphrase the undying words of Mark Twain, “Do I want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member?”

P.S. Fast-forward 17 years.

I am married to a guy with the name of my favorite character from my favorite Dickens’ book. We have a spectacular 14-month old.

He just isn’t the same guy.

P.P.S. Oh, and I managed to make it that time, bathroom-wise. As I usually do.

• I AM Peaceman! What do you know that’s larger than life? Turns out, Sir Ivan hadn’t yet seen all the seven wonders of the world. And though having already performed to a crowd of 15,000, he wants to touch a whole stadium-full with his catchy remakes of '60s legacy songs in his debut......
• Nope, Not Going Belly-Up "Do you even know how much we dream about that?!" I do.  I dreamed it, too.  And now, it's here, devouring its chew toy. [/caption] They're the nicest folks you'd ever meet.  A baronial guy, early thirties, curly Santa Claus beard, but still dark.  A vivacious wife; same benighted coloration,......
• The Pit Ball Goes to the Dogs as Vicktory Emerges Victorious [/caption] I wrote about The Great Pit Ball before -- when it was just a glimmer in its host's eye. A very defined kind of glimmer, true, but when we talked, everything for the grand event was only just coming together. Today, I spoke to Mr. Bond again, with The......
• Idiot's Guide to Ending Your Life "I just returned home and my whole family's been shot!" By me, should have added the father.  But then, should've, would've, might've.  Before killing his family and himself, the man should have done a lot of things, but he chose his way out.  One, incidentally, that was suggested by the......
• PETA and Michael Vick, a Match Made in Hell If you are a true follower of the PETA dictums, right now, in addition to the more... ah traditional constraints like no meat, no poultry, no fish, no wool, no leather, no circuses, no zoos, no animal research, no pets, no seeing eye dogs, no goats mowing Google lawns (at......

• Our Credit Card Journey: Swipers To Shredders This post is from Frugal Dad staff writer Chris. You can find more of his writing at Your Money Relationship. One of the most difficult parts of getting out of debt is transitioning from a spender to a saver. I'll be honest with you. My wife and I loved to......
• My first blog....and I would rather not talk about real estate.... Yes....I would rather talk about college football. I would love to talk to you about my family. I would rather talk about the amazing rains in the southwest (....God is blessing us with rain!). I would rather talk about a big juicy commercial real estate deal in Colorado....huh? Okay...okay...so I......
• Influence of the Universe How exactly do these planetary bodies 'plug in' so to speak and influence me? They are large scope or macrocosmic influences, and as things move them they move literally everything else. Like how we have more storms during sunspot activity. So in astrology they seek to see these large scale......
• Success Doesn't Look Like What You Think It Will -- 6 Steps For Going For It Anyway [/caption]Success is an interesting thing.  I've reached a point in my life where I think I have a modicum of expertise on the subject and I thought I might share some of it, if you'll indulge me. In 1994 I was studying for a double degree in Law and Commerce......
• You Have to Prepare for Retirement – Do Not Depend on the Government Today I received a very interesting Fidelity Credit Card offer.  This particular rewards card placed my 2% cash back directly into my IRA with Fidelity.  Interesting, right? I thought this was really cool.  Don’t worry I didn’t partake, because, as we discussed, I am in operation eradicate consumer debt. ......