The Annointed Fig

When it oinks like a pig, looks like a pig, wields a gun like a pig, is it a pig?

PC John Ablett seems to think so.  Though a fan of self-criticism, I do think asking fellow policemen to arrest a neighbor in a nighttime raid for — ready for it? — a 12″ porcelain pig domiciled in Robin Demczak’s backyard for the past 8 years is taking a commendable character quality (and familiarity with slurs) in somewhat of a wrong direction.

If he's baying for blood, does that make it a Bay of Pigs?

Considering the young traffic cop, John Ablett, lived next to an ex-pig farmer Mr. Demczak for only 4 of those years — and their feud over a footpath (who cares about Gaza Strip, these guys have their own no-man’s land!) lasted for just 18 months, it seems Mr. Demczak had a remarkable foresight to first start breeding pigs solely to be able to stop and put up a sign proclaiming to ex-customers, “No Pigs”.  And here we go to Uri Geller for evidence of psychic gifts.  Fat load we know!

Mr. Demczak’s new “no pigs” house rule was grossly violated when PC Ablett’s herd-mates entered the premises and took him from his bed into police custody lasting over 6 hours. And the best part: he was let go without any charges filed in conjunction with what is being treated as a “harassment incident”, but nonetheless ordered to rid himself of the swine offender AND stop calling his now empty shed a sty (for all it still retains all the characteristics thereof).

If the Thames Valley police force is so concerned with a common dictionary word, I am surprised it feels comfortable en masse entering its own precinct after perverting justice to quite this extent.  After all, how would you call a dwelling housing a herd of swine (all the decent cops excluded)?

Yeah, kinda thought so!

I am usually against what seems like a lot of extraneous civil court law suits creating excessive bloat in the system.  But in this particular case, man, I would give my eye tooth to be on the jury, if Mr. Demczak decides to sue.  Not that I know why anyone would want an eye tooth.  Unless they are the Tooth Fairy.

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