Confessions of an Unrepentant Cannibal

When a doctor makes a mistake and cuts off the wrong testicle — that’s social injustice.

When a bank employee recommends postponing payments on the mortgage in an enviably good standing so that you could take advantage of the government bailout and refinance — and then, repossessing your home — that, too, is social injustice.

Pork - the other OTHER white meat.

Pork - the other OTHER white meat.

But when your mother repeatedly bashes her buddy on the head with an axe, gouges out choice bits, cooks and eats her in front of your seven-year old eyes before throwing the remains out into a heap of garbage, what would you call that?  And what would you call having your government keeping her confined and away from you for a period of no more than 15 years (should she be convicted of the crime) while men like Khodorkovsky, ostensibly jailed for creative accounting practices (and in reality, attempting to peacefully overthrow the regime), slated to see the light of day on the far side of never?

Recalls 27-year old Olesya Mostovschikova, the third female cannibal arrested in Russia in the last 6 month, this one in the Siberian city of Irkutsk: “I took the axe and hit her a number of times on her head.  Then I cut off her ears, gouged out one eye, cut off an arm, and a hand. I took the hand, arm and eye and cooked these body parts in the oven.  Some time later, I went down to the cellar again because Julia [an otherwise unidentified friend claiming to have gone along out of fear for her own life] said that she was hungry and wanted to eat some more.  We sliced off some more meat and took it upstairs to the kitchen. We fried it on the cooker and ate it.”

Doesn’t sound like someone in the throes of remorse.  Nor, for that matter, a fit of violent rage.  This woman — using the term loosely — seems wholly in the possession of her wits.  Why then, isn’t she going up for 700 to life, no parole forever and ever, amen (Russia squarely on the humane side of the capital punishment Mason-Dixon line, and boy, does it beg to be delivered with it’s Premiere’s gloriously deadpan expression)?

Why is she going to be back roaming the streets within…what, a few years — given a standard caveat for a good behavior?  And what exactly is to happen to her little boy when he sees Mommy Hungriest stopping by for the first time for his middle school play?  High school graduation ball?  Best case scenario, his college soccer match?

I am not advocating capital punishment, it’s too sweeping a topic to address in one blog post.  But I am calling for predators the likes of Ms. Olesya, once caught, never to be permitted freedom — other than of a prison yard once a day under the business end of a rifle.  After all, we do have to be be humane, don’t we?

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