The Annointed Fig

Soapbox! Loudspeaker, stat! Full glass of raw eggs (supposedly does marvels for the vocal cords)! All right, we’re set.

In November, the student association in Ottawa, Ontario, voted to eliminate a Cystic Fibrosis organization from the list of the charities it supports, explaining that since the condition almost exclusively afflicts white people, it wasn’t “inclusive” enough to merit student funding.

Sorry whitey, you're the odd one out!

Um, OK. Let’s talk Tay-Sachs? How about Gauche? Both of these the provenance solely of the Jews; more, Jews of the Ashkenazi descent. In their severest forms, of their kids under 5. Which is to say, by then, those kids, progressively more retarded, will have done their parents’ insurances a favor and already died off. So far, incidentally, other than genetic pre-testing, neither condition has seen a major scientific breakthrough. Any charity there? Surely the labs could use some updated sequencing equipment. Oops, sorry, no racial diversity there, they’re plum outta luck.

Now, let’s break out our redheaded stepchildren. Which is what the carrot-tops have been treated as, though unwittingly, by the anesthesiological branch of Western medicine. Turns out, same DNA fragment responsible for the wild hair color is, also, one that makes them more resistant to even the “best” stuff. Recent research shows they might need twice the normal doses. But if they are so hard to knock out, maybe they’re, also, less prone to getting addicted to drugs? There should be a far-reaching study. Then again, the subjects will be exclusively white. Nope, doesn’t work.

Progeria, then. Can that foundation count on the Ottawa students’ largesse? It prematurely ages children of all races, creeds (still predominantly Caucasian, but that might be because it’s so rare, and in the first-world countries, where the timely diagnosis and patient management are possible, the majority of the population – and thus, the affected children – is white). But nah, not “inclusive” enough. It affects people only under 20. How’s that catering to a wider clientèle?

How about…oh, Familial Mediterranean Fever, a minor genetic abnormality affecting Armenians, Turks, Sephardic Jews. It amounts to a disruption in a single protein and becomes a doozy only if both parents carry the mutated gene. In which case, the unlucky offspring gets unbearable stomach cramps, testicular pain, unnecessary surgeries, spiking fever, renal failure, suicide possibly chosen over a lifetime of pain. How about extending these louts a hand? Ha, too uniform a color, what the hell you’re doing here with that collection plate?!

So, then, let’s tackle sickle cell anemia demographic, mostly our black populace’s problem, stemming from a genuinely beneficial adaptation protecting Africans from the malaria spores. Over millennia, red blood cells got misshapen, so, the choosy germs have nowhere to attach. Conversely, these cells have hard time making it through the capillaries. End result: pain, muscle weakness, debilitation, inability to so much as travel by plane. But repeat, most sufferers are black. And, really, the affirmative action does say what’s good for the goose doesn’t necessarily extend to his nest-mate.

I mean, what the hell?! I voted for our half African-American leader. I am glad we finally have a Native American governing a state. I envy French for even THINKING of legalizing alternatives to one-male-one-female unions to protects second, third, etc. wives of its Middle Eastern immigrants. And then, I get to hear this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to dig out my KKK hood, but I do think the silly, inconsiderate, ASSinine, white-men’s-burden decisions the likes of this one are what’s largely contributing to still-lingering racial unease. Come on, those whites harboring Aryan Nation ideals will have it much easier recruiting yes-men if these people feel they are being ignored to make up for the misdeeds of yore.

“I have a dream”, confided Martin Luther King, Jr. Somehow, I don’t think it extended to white children being denied the best medical treatment, charity-funded or not – or even admittance into prestigious college by virtue of a better grade because of the “black quota” not having been met.

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